Posted by & filed under Buffalo.

 

My brother, Ryan, and I are very close and always have been. We’re cut from the same cloth, making us avid environmentalists and suckers for all things sustainable. Where I’m the buffalo rancher, he’s the organic urban farmer. With the “buffalo bug” being admittedly contagious, Ryan now owns some members of our herd. After the buffalo conference, we also discovered that deep down, we are still incredibly immature.

After an eventful night of sleep (see Part 2: Naked Cowboy), we (myself, husband – Michael, and Ryan) sat down for a speech of particular interest to us: absentee ownership. For the past couple of years, we had been muddling around with ideas on how to create a fair financial relationship concerning the care and sales of the buffalo owned by Ryan. We were absolutely tickled to get some insight from an expert in the biz. With pen and notepad at the ready, we prepared for an education.

The speaker began on the subject of breeding rights with, “If you want to control breeding rights to your balls, err bulls, then you need to consider….” I have no idea what he said after that. My brain distinctly noted that he said “balls” and that the context of his Freudian slip was priceless. I imagined that yes, many people would want to control breeding rights to their balls, and then I attempted to stifle a snicker, reminding myself that I was an adult.

Apparently Ryan had been digesting the same information because my snicker completely destroyed his resolve. For a brief moment, I digested the horror of the situation: I was not going to be able to keep my composure. I, too, “lost it,” and we spent the next several minutes attempting to behave ourselves and failing miserably. Not another soul had partaken in our merriment. Michael was thoroughly perplexed with our childish behavior. It was as though we had been transported back to childhood, suffering from the giggles at church because someone farted.

Finally, Ryan, six years my junior and clearly the more mature sibling, gathered his things and removed himself from the meeting hall. I would like to say that I learned mounds of good information from the speaker, but sadly, I only absorbed a couple of points. Oh, well. Maybe discovering that Ryan and I are still the same goofballs we always have been was what we really needed to learn most of all!